With every dump I took, I’d symbolically excrete their negative energy of #2014. And during every church visit, bind their demons of yesteryear. And so on and so forth.
I too fell for the proverbial new year new me. Deeper than most. However, the further into the new year that time delved, the more I realized that the people, habits, and ideals that I declared would #stayin2014 would remain more present than ever. That during the first week of the year, I would spend more time than I could account for; dining and connecting with individuals that were first on the ‘People I’m cutting off this year’ list, and engaging in thought patterns and behaviors that I had wished away in my resolutions.
And as I fell deeper into the rabbit hole of fruitlessly and desperately seeking personal growth within a short time span, I realized there was nothing momentous about a new year. That all the elements of personal growth that took place prior in my life came about in seperate domains, at different rates, as a result of different, often unconnected things. Never all at once. And never at the start of the year. They would come about in acquiring powerful positions, starting jobs, ending relationships, starting relationships, standing up to Goliaths, getting good feedback, and so on and so forth.
However, at the same time, I was drawn to the idea of a ‘reset’ button, a shower, a cleansing of face. A rejuvination. And that’s how I would like to take in the new year. Not as one full of demands and expectations upon myself, but an opportunity to appreciate the queen I’ve become, and take in the growth that will happen organically, while continuing to aspire for the things that I naturally will achieve, as I continue to be radically awesome.
As for the ‘getting rid of negative energy’ which is really just a fashionable urban legend in my opinion, I feel it impossible. Because, for every negative sucker that I’ve cut off, another one that’s twice as large shows up. And continues to resurface. And I realize that I harbor it too. That we all harbor energy that is detrimental to ourselves, and that’s energy that we should tackle first. ‘Energy’ because that’s the fashionable way to refer to it.
And maybe the title was misleading.