Reasons I Can’t Keep Up With Being a Woman Part 2

blogBefore you move any further, you may consider glancing over at Part 1 so that you don’t find that you’re the  kid in class who doesn’t know what’s going on.

Welcome back. 🙂

You already know that I rely on my own rage for writing material. In keeping with that, I assigned ‘substantial black womanhood’ a trial two week period. So that it would shake me up, and i’d have something to report. This is my survivor story.

Woman of Worth

As a prelude, ’20’ would continue to be turbulent. Over the past two weeks, another bus driver would refer to me as ‘ma’am’, and I wouldn’t be I.D.’d at the cinema when I went to watch 50 Shades of Grey. I would continue to reach for the bad-bitch jumpsuit as the salesgirl pushed for the A-line dress. ‘Woman’ is  push and pull. White male is fulcrum.

However, as promised, I became a substantial gal. I acquired a neutral pallet; switching up a burgundy lip with a nude one. I began to make notice of my hem-line; to select the chunky over the strappy.  I set up magazine subscriptions, and that week, I kept the large Africa earrings away. I also learnt to insert darling expletives like ‘fudge’ and ‘fish’ Becoming  woman showed signs of promise.

Woman of Charade

Showing up as a worthy woman everyday was enjoyable. However, at the end of every day, it felt like a good performance, and at one point I wondered whether every woman felt the same way and just went along with it. I struggled to manage all the  paradoxes that I described in Part 1. The art of good posture, mild language, moderate stances, feminine movements, uninspired outfits, and holding back, as well. In every setting, I would remind myself that it is important to simmer down; and that to be coy would always suffice. I also felt that mentioning what I could cook would make up for some things; like, ashiness of elbow, in persuading them that I was indeed, a smart set woman.

Learning the ropes was seamless, however, sneaky checkpoints would show up just when I felt like I’d mastered this. My fairy god-mother would leave me momentarily and I would be godforsaken to pick between ‘create a fake name and number and walk away’ and ‘politely tell him that you are not interested’ Because “fuck off” ceased to be an option. And ‘fudge off’ apparently isn’t a thing.

Colourless Woman

Erasure of my colour would prove to be valuable for my ratings. Mentioning where I’m from would only be appropriate in three contexts. 1) In a brief response  to ‘You have an accent, where are you from’,  2) during moments where whitey would need to clarify some facts, in his elaborate story about his son’s trip to Africa, and lastly, 3) again, in clarification, again to whitey, that no, I’m not Nigerian. I’m actually from Kenya. Otherwise, it would be improper to expose any signs that I was proud of my ethnicity; that I noticed with the colour of my skin. Slowly, I would learn to put away the headscarf, the accent, the Lauryn Hill CD and the large Africa earrings. Ethnically geared things were never ladylike. Unless they were found at ‘Banana republic’

The Prude 

Okay guys, I’m at the end of the rope for today. The sequel will be posted up tomorrow. :))

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5 thoughts on “Reasons I Can’t Keep Up With Being a Woman Part 2

  1. cindyk101 says:

    Hey, my name is Cindy and I just wanted to say, the stereotypes that you listen in part one, you don’t have to follow. Don’t bother to try to follow the paradoxes that you listed and never simmer yourself down for others. Instead, don’t reach for the sky, reach for the universe. Don’t put yourself down for the acceptance of others.
    Be assertive, Be who you are, reach for the top, don’t bother to mention your cooking skills when your elbows are ashy; Be unapologetic. If a man is interested in your cooking skills rather than your achievements, more interested in you simmering down for his ego, he is not worth having

    You are under no obligation to follow those stupid paradoxes that were set by men on how you should act/behave. You should not come home and feel as if you are playing a good performance.

    I just want women to feel empowered and not feel obligated to follow stereotypes or social paradoxes that were created for men. I want women to reach for the stars and above, and not lower themselves down for the sake of a man.

    Be yourself, don’t be a performance. I’m not trying to attack you, I’m just trying to open your eyes to see that you don’t have to simmer or lower yourself down, or mention your cooking skills to compensate your “ashy elbows” and to come home feeling as if you were doing a performance the whole day.

    Sorry for the rant, It has really made me upset that, (in general, not just you), that some women lower themselves down for social acceptance and I really want to go against that.

    For more information on stereotypes, go on my blogpost http://cinderellarightscampaign.blogspot.com/2014/12/stereotypes.html

    And you should read, https://ceranjagi.wordpress.com/2015/03/08/i-refuse-to-shrink/

    I also know how you feel on the accent thing, sometimes I could be talking and then someone may rudely inturupt me and as “Where are you from” and its so hard to reply to this, because you want to say that your Kenyan, but they will always make a direct referel of where your accent came from.

    Also, check out my blog cinderellarightscampaign.blogspot.com

  2. cindyk101 says:

    In conclusion, I don’t want you to get used to a performance, I want you to be yourself, dont give in to social standards set by men, don’t lower yourself, reach for the top!!!

    • blackgirlprovoked says:

      I love your insight and that you took the time to really analyse how you felt about the article. I must note that the article is a satire, so I am, actually indeed poking fun of society and problematizing it. lol. I am very indignant and do not heed to the societal order.
      Again, thanks!
      And I will deffo check out your page!!

  3. cindyk101 says:

    Sorry for the late reply, and I am glad that this article is satire, and your writing style is definitely thought -provoking!! It makes a reader think, analyse, question and even bring up emotion 🙂 Keep it up!! And I’m sorry for jumping into conclusions without asking; it was my mistake. But you have brought up a quiet issue that not many women are willing to talk about, and I love how you speak out for the voiceless 🙂 Once again, keep it up!!

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