Reasons you Shouldn’t Find yourself and Make peace


Those who championed it

…My escapism enabled me to get away with a few more months of no advancement, guilt-free. There is something about emptiness that allows you to string along with masses of people whose chaotic lifestyles and questionable ideologies you’d fundamentally dump on. And it was during this portion of life that I was disgraced with the company of a newly dreadlocked pile who assaulted marijuana, banged-up their diets, mismanaged their talents (as I am), and spoke in terms of ‘energies’ and ‘spaces’. I looked on and sat next to these chunks of privileged youth, deluded by post-modern wisdoms and popular rhetoric. Pseudo-Buddhists, pseudo-activists pseudo-everythings and anythings who eagerly jumped on any bandwagon that Kendrick or tumblr might endorse.

I’m only refering to these people so that you may get an extreme picture of the hot mess that  inspired my distaste towards the modern values of self-care, self-healing, and an unhealthy and wild obsession with nature and self-involvement as a remedy for every life’s tribulation.

Self-Care as a Distraction

Unfortunately, in 2016, self-care is endorsed as a normal, even clinically supported mode of stress management. Being ‘good to oneself’, practicing mindfulness, ‘taking time off’, and creating “me-time”, have been shoved down  our wanna-be vegan throats as legitimate remedies for healing and finding peace mysteriously from within ourselves.

These tactics could often recommend learning how to kayak as a means of dealing with worthlessness and bird watching for healing trauma of the past. I have come across way too many people who are blowing bubbles, and catching grasshoppers and walking around flower gardens as means to reconciling with loved ones, and sitting in scented bubble baths and eating healthy to medicate toxic relationships. Strange, dumb fucks.

These godawful tactics appear to me, noisy distractions promoting negligence of life’s tribulations by obsessing with oneself.  Creating noise to distract from the sullen reality that one may face. Producing silence to flee the noise of responsibility. Why are you violently dancing to the beat of your own drum and focusing on the ebb and flow of the ocean, to avoid thinking about your plunging credit score, your eviction order and your failure to spend time with your ageing parents. Did it help?

Facing things Head on as a solution

This is the most rational mode of healing, I would imagine. To demystify problems and rationally and size up situations. To understand that interpersonal conflict can only be solved through interpersonal means, and that financial breakthrough can only be achieved though financial strategies. Healing from trauma is achieved through addressing the agents. Blowing on clovers and long-scented baths will not cancel-out your abusive parenting style. Afros and grey braids won’t reinvent you as a person.

Sit by the ocean as a hobby, as calming mechanism, as a focusing technique, but not as the be-all end-all of your journey towards freedom from pain. There is no freedom from pain. Life is a problem-solving journey, says Black Girl Provoked.


3 thoughts on “Reasons you Shouldn’t Find yourself and Make peace

  1. Jimmy Karago says:

    I love your blog posts, although I’m everything you may hate. I still love how you make me think about the things I do. I also adore your writing style. I’m definitely a new active reader.

    • Kari Kamau says:

      That’s really sweet Jimmy. 🙂 I absolutely do not hate the kind of people that i’m talking about. Just a critique is all! SO honored to have you as a new active reader! :p

  2. Fiona says:

    I see much truth in this. Thank you for putting cohesive thought and words down for those of us who think like this in an abstract way. Keep talkin’ real life

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